Effy: Why bother?
Tony: With what?
Effy: Caring about people.
Tony: You don't fool me, Effy Stonem
Sunday, November 29, 2009
And so I've been told.
Skins. Gotta love it.
Effy: Why bother?
Tony: With what?
Effy: Caring about people.
Tony: You don't fool me, Effy Stonem
Effy: Why bother?
Tony: With what?
Effy: Caring about people.
Tony: You don't fool me, Effy Stonem
Friday, October 23, 2009
Summer, Autumn, Whatever.
And so I sat through 95 minutes of alien emotions and foreign concept. It wasn't bad, it just didn't strike a chord. But I guess I'll just categorise and tuck it away neatly under the label reading "Pleasant experiences". I'm too young- no wait, I take that back; it's a fallacy, not everything should be blamed on age. I'm too unknowing, too inexperienced, I don't get the right to say that I Understand What It's Like. It's not my place.
So I sat in a cab and tried to understand, to make sense of It All. And as fate would have it, what should come on but a trusty song by the Beatles; it was like music to my soul. Because in that moment, everything clicked. The incensed pleas for answers were gone at the drop of a hat, the torrent of rage subsided, the frustration dissipated.
The starting lyrics, you ask?
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking of words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking of words of wisdom
Let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be
The best advice if there were any, sometimes, we've just got to let it be. Because sometimes you've just got to realise this world is so much bigger than just you.
So I sat in a cab and tried to understand, to make sense of It All. And as fate would have it, what should come on but a trusty song by the Beatles; it was like music to my soul. Because in that moment, everything clicked. The incensed pleas for answers were gone at the drop of a hat, the torrent of rage subsided, the frustration dissipated.
The starting lyrics, you ask?
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking of words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking of words of wisdom
Let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be
The best advice if there were any, sometimes, we've just got to let it be. Because sometimes you've just got to realise this world is so much bigger than just you.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
If my heart were a house, you'd be home.
Everything's coming to an end; and I don't know whether to be happy, sad, disappointed, frustrated, worried, apprehensive, excited. Someone tell me what to feel.
It's a crossroads sans the splintered wooden sign board and the handy Book of Directions in my back pocket, so what do I do now? Because intuition in all its supposed trustworthiness led me straight into your clutches - and God knows what a tragedy that was - so give me something to believe in.
You're insurmountable and like the romantic looney I am, these whimiscal notions haven't faded. Not one bit.
It's a crossroads sans the splintered wooden sign board and the handy Book of Directions in my back pocket, so what do I do now? Because intuition in all its supposed trustworthiness led me straight into your clutches - and God knows what a tragedy that was - so give me something to believe in.
You're insurmountable and like the romantic looney I am, these whimiscal notions haven't faded. Not one bit.
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Reality of It all.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
So she said, 'What's the problem baby?'
I'm no saint.
I really try, I do. But unconditional love is suddenly becoming conditional and my strongest persuasions are becoming feeble and lame. I need you to try too.
Because this is a two way street
and you need to meet me in the middle.
I really try, I do. But unconditional love is suddenly becoming conditional and my strongest persuasions are becoming feeble and lame. I need you to try too.
Because this is a two way street
and you need to meet me in the middle.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Transfixed.
You have to make your own little pieces of magic, like the room with the stars on the ceiling where you could be in bed and look up at infinity.
- Adriann Wilson
- Adriann Wilson
Time after time.
I'm going to stop telling people that I 'don't even care anymore', because it's glaringly obvious that I still do.
Very much.
More than ever.
And most of all, I'm tired of running away. You know what they say, you can run but you sure can't hide. Well, I'm not running or hiding anymore. Dodging the bullet time and time again hasn't healed anything and everytime I think about it, it feels like a badly-patched band-aid is being ripped off my heart and the bleeding starts all over again. Slowly. Insidiously.
If I'd only been wiser at the start and let nature taken its course.
And so the scars speak for themselves.
Very much.
More than ever.
And most of all, I'm tired of running away. You know what they say, you can run but you sure can't hide. Well, I'm not running or hiding anymore. Dodging the bullet time and time again hasn't healed anything and everytime I think about it, it feels like a badly-patched band-aid is being ripped off my heart and the bleeding starts all over again. Slowly. Insidiously.
If I'd only been wiser at the start and let nature taken its course.
And so the scars speak for themselves.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
The girl in the mirror was a stranger.
She moved; the girl moved.
She twitched; the girl twitched.
She smiled; the girl smiled back, the warmth never reached her eyes.
She laughed (a mirthless gurgle that richoted off the walls in the empty room); the girl laughed (the same cold chuckle reverberating within the scratched walls of her gilded cage)
And so they continued,
a bizzare dance woven by warped symmetry, distasteful mimicry; with the finishing touches of fury and an appropriate dose of frustration.
And so the sands of time passed them by.
Yet they struggled for power between themselves, for one couldn't live without the other. The claws came out- but then again, how do you hurt something that isn't wholly there?
She had had enough.
The girl raised her hand and flung the bulky rock in it as far as she could.
And so, the rock flew-
driven by an upper lip curled back into a snarl, propelled even further by the deeply furrowed brow set on a face that bore the weight of the world.
The rock hit the mirror and it shattered imstantly; without fuss and void of complaint.
And so, she looked around disbelievingly; hesitant,
waiting, just waiting, for the long drawn-out scream to punctuate the air.
None came.
And the girl realised- it had been in her all this time,
all she had to do,
was just try.
She moved; the girl moved.
She twitched; the girl twitched.
She smiled; the girl smiled back, the warmth never reached her eyes.
She laughed (a mirthless gurgle that richoted off the walls in the empty room); the girl laughed (the same cold chuckle reverberating within the scratched walls of her gilded cage)
And so they continued,
a bizzare dance woven by warped symmetry, distasteful mimicry; with the finishing touches of fury and an appropriate dose of frustration.
And so the sands of time passed them by.
Yet they struggled for power between themselves, for one couldn't live without the other. The claws came out- but then again, how do you hurt something that isn't wholly there?
She had had enough.
The girl raised her hand and flung the bulky rock in it as far as she could.
And so, the rock flew-
driven by an upper lip curled back into a snarl, propelled even further by the deeply furrowed brow set on a face that bore the weight of the world.
The rock hit the mirror and it shattered imstantly; without fuss and void of complaint.
And so, she looked around disbelievingly; hesitant,
waiting, just waiting, for the long drawn-out scream to punctuate the air.
None came.
And the girl realised- it had been in her all this time,
all she had to do,
was just try.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
At a crossroads.
I've been so hung up on all these things lately; all these exasperatingly mundane yet contradictingly significant things that keep swirling around my mind. And at the end of every day, the only word left in my thoroughly spent mind is 'Why?' Indeed, why.
Why is it that I can probably think of a million things I want to do tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after that and the day after that... but at the end of it all, not have done a single one?
I want to go for morning jogs and watch dew crystallise on green leaves in a park. I want to eat that damn slice of chocolate cake and not worry about the calories going straight down to my butt. I want to stay up all night watching Friends re-runs and sing as loud as I want in the shower and dance on the streets and walk the streets of a city in the dead of the night. I want to paint my walls whatever colour I want them and try all the recipes I see and learn how to juggle and lie on a sandy beach to watch the sunrise. I want to jump in puddles of water and kick up piles of autumn leaves and stay up all night laughing. I want to read good books and throw parties and buy new boxes of sharpened colour pencils and run freely on a large patch of green grass with rolling hills all around me. I want to love with all my heart and make the people around me happy everyday and be happy and be loved and believe in the goodness of the world and the compassion of mankind.
I want a life that sizzles and is larger than life and makes me laugh out loud every day. And most of all, I don't want to get to the end and realise that my life never really amounted to anything more than a lie fabricated out of self-limitation.
Why is it that I can probably think of a million things I want to do tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after that and the day after that... but at the end of it all, not have done a single one?
I want to go for morning jogs and watch dew crystallise on green leaves in a park. I want to eat that damn slice of chocolate cake and not worry about the calories going straight down to my butt. I want to stay up all night watching Friends re-runs and sing as loud as I want in the shower and dance on the streets and walk the streets of a city in the dead of the night. I want to paint my walls whatever colour I want them and try all the recipes I see and learn how to juggle and lie on a sandy beach to watch the sunrise. I want to jump in puddles of water and kick up piles of autumn leaves and stay up all night laughing. I want to read good books and throw parties and buy new boxes of sharpened colour pencils and run freely on a large patch of green grass with rolling hills all around me. I want to love with all my heart and make the people around me happy everyday and be happy and be loved and believe in the goodness of the world and the compassion of mankind.
I want a life that sizzles and is larger than life and makes me laugh out loud every day. And most of all, I don't want to get to the end and realise that my life never really amounted to anything more than a lie fabricated out of self-limitation.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The start of something not-so-new.
Tinted windows are swung open hastily, forming acute angles with smooth wooden panes. Not far in the background, hues of green mask a critter - or two - screeching insouciantly, creating fissures in the brittle afternoon air like thin cracks on a slab of dark chocolate. Oh how bittersweet.
In the horizon, rain clouds hang threateningly, in a fashion not unlike that of overzealous bullies; only too ready to dampen, to crush, to destroy. And lording over all of mankind, without which the world would be rendered absolutely hapless, a great fiery ball, its usual incandescence dulled by interpolated wisps of grey.
At last, this living mural is complete. Or is it?
But on this afternoon, the world is nothing more than a giant melting pot - colours, shapes, sizes, smells, sounds all rallying together to form a slush of delicate emotions, unwanted thoughts and hints of a strange annoyance.
As if right on cue, the pounding - or is it just in my head? - gets louder. Like a heartbeat, rhymthically, methodically, steadily. Faster, faster and faster yet.
I can't take this anymore.
(After all, it's nothing more than muscle mass no bigger than the size of my palm. Maybe that's all we amount to at the end of the day. Who knows. Who cares.)
and then,
silence,
silence,
silence.
And now I'm scared.
In the horizon, rain clouds hang threateningly, in a fashion not unlike that of overzealous bullies; only too ready to dampen, to crush, to destroy. And lording over all of mankind, without which the world would be rendered absolutely hapless, a great fiery ball, its usual incandescence dulled by interpolated wisps of grey.
At last, this living mural is complete. Or is it?
But on this afternoon, the world is nothing more than a giant melting pot - colours, shapes, sizes, smells, sounds all rallying together to form a slush of delicate emotions, unwanted thoughts and hints of a strange annoyance.
As if right on cue, the pounding - or is it just in my head? - gets louder. Like a heartbeat, rhymthically, methodically, steadily. Faster, faster and faster yet.
I can't take this anymore.
(After all, it's nothing more than muscle mass no bigger than the size of my palm. Maybe that's all we amount to at the end of the day. Who knows. Who cares.)
and then,
silence,
silence,
silence.
And now I'm scared.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Freedom Writers.
Spent Thursday night watching The Freedom Writers on HBO; it was well worth the 2 hour investment. (As a sidenote, isn't it sad that we've become so calculative about everything? A constant weighing of benefits vs. consequences from dimes to seconds, about everything and anything. It scares me. Whatever happened to just doing things 'for the fun of it'? Now that's a term you don't hear very often these days. But that's an angsty rant for another time.)
The first feeling I felt was that of immense, immense gratitude. God knows what those kids in the movie go through on a day-to-day basis. I can't think of any way to describe how destitute and bereft those youth are, it's shocking. But I think this dialogue nicely sums it up:
Miss G: Who here knows what the Holocaust is?
[no hands are raised, except one]
Miss G: Who here has ever been shot at?
[all hands are raised, except one]
So yeah. Go figure.
We're all fighting our own wars, some - much, much - worse than others. And in comparison to the wars waged against these kids everyday, the average Singaporean teen's looks like peanuts.
If all of us would only just appreciate what we have and how incredibly blessed we are, this world would be a much happier place. 'Nuff said.
The first feeling I felt was that of immense, immense gratitude. God knows what those kids in the movie go through on a day-to-day basis. I can't think of any way to describe how destitute and bereft those youth are, it's shocking. But I think this dialogue nicely sums it up:
Miss G: Who here knows what the Holocaust is?
[no hands are raised, except one]
Miss G: Who here has ever been shot at?
[all hands are raised, except one]
So yeah. Go figure.
We're all fighting our own wars, some - much, much - worse than others. And in comparison to the wars waged against these kids everyday, the average Singaporean teen's looks like peanuts.
If all of us would only just appreciate what we have and how incredibly blessed we are, this world would be a much happier place. 'Nuff said.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Resuscitate this.
Frustration wells up in the pits of stomach and I shake my head wildly from side to side. Maybe, just maybe, if I shake vigorously enough, memories will spill out and vapourise in the cool morning air; condense into nothing more than water droplets on sparkling, brittle glass. Alas, condensation is but a hopeless hope. (Oh what an oxymoron)
That stupid green shirt is still there.
Dang.
That stupid green shirt is still there.
Dang.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Terrified
So I've decided that this post will be dedicated to myself; I swear I'm not a narcissist.
I was browsing lazily through my blog archives and to my horror I realised that a reader - even a consistent one - of this blog probably won't know very much about me just by reading my blog entries. That's mostly my fault though. I intentionally avoid rambling on about my day to day life for fear of boring people out of their wits AND I do realise that a lot of my posts can be rather cryptic and esoteric so ... Combine that realisation with a brainwave and tadahhh you have this post!
Okay. So. What should you know about me? Hmmm.
Well the first thing you should probably know: I am conditionally organised. Which basically means that I can be all OCD about certain things and a complete slob when it comes to others. And just your luck, it turns out that I've decided to be thoroughly unorganised in this entry which means random facts about myself galore.
Well, not many people know this, but running is a father-daughter thing for me. My dad and I usually run on the track inside the central catchment nature reserve (it starts from SICC, which is really convenient since we're members) and ends at MacRitchie reservoir. It really is quite different running under a canopy of green inside the forest. I'm always happiest after a good run.
I haven't got the slightest clue what I want to be when I grow up. And sometimes the vision of a bleary, far-off future proffering a myriad of opportunities liberates me but at other times its like a condemnation, to take the beaten track, to give in to convention. It frustrates me to no end that I could end up as just another face in the crowd; lost, listless, weary.
I have a really sweet tooth. That's pretty self-explanatory.
I love more than anything to admire beautiful scenery. The feeling I get is beyond words. I can't even begin to describe the way in which beautiful scenery arouses feelings from the very depth of my soul that remain repressed in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Beauty takes so many forms and for me, scenery is one of its finest.
My room is in an utter mess. I've tried time and time again to clear it but all my attempts have proven futile. I think I'll clear it soon.
I always feel really sad after watching movies, even if the movie was a happy one. It feels cruel to present someone with a portal for escapism for a mere 108 minutes and then take it away all too abruptly. I mean, it's like putting someone through all the joy and struggles and disappointment you've faced and then shoving them out of your life with a 'the end'. It's too sudden, it's too cold. So yes, movies kind of make me feel despondent.
I think that's enough random facts for now.
I now know why I've never shared much about myself here - it drains you, makes you feel exposed. But oddly, I've never felt this comfortable being vunerable.
I'm your junkie.
I was browsing lazily through my blog archives and to my horror I realised that a reader - even a consistent one - of this blog probably won't know very much about me just by reading my blog entries. That's mostly my fault though. I intentionally avoid rambling on about my day to day life for fear of boring people out of their wits AND I do realise that a lot of my posts can be rather cryptic and esoteric so ... Combine that realisation with a brainwave and tadahhh you have this post!
Okay. So. What should you know about me? Hmmm.
Well the first thing you should probably know: I am conditionally organised. Which basically means that I can be all OCD about certain things and a complete slob when it comes to others. And just your luck, it turns out that I've decided to be thoroughly unorganised in this entry which means random facts about myself galore.
Well, not many people know this, but running is a father-daughter thing for me. My dad and I usually run on the track inside the central catchment nature reserve (it starts from SICC, which is really convenient since we're members) and ends at MacRitchie reservoir. It really is quite different running under a canopy of green inside the forest. I'm always happiest after a good run.
I haven't got the slightest clue what I want to be when I grow up. And sometimes the vision of a bleary, far-off future proffering a myriad of opportunities liberates me but at other times its like a condemnation, to take the beaten track, to give in to convention. It frustrates me to no end that I could end up as just another face in the crowd; lost, listless, weary.
I have a really sweet tooth. That's pretty self-explanatory.
I love more than anything to admire beautiful scenery. The feeling I get is beyond words. I can't even begin to describe the way in which beautiful scenery arouses feelings from the very depth of my soul that remain repressed in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Beauty takes so many forms and for me, scenery is one of its finest.
My room is in an utter mess. I've tried time and time again to clear it but all my attempts have proven futile. I think I'll clear it soon.
I always feel really sad after watching movies, even if the movie was a happy one. It feels cruel to present someone with a portal for escapism for a mere 108 minutes and then take it away all too abruptly. I mean, it's like putting someone through all the joy and struggles and disappointment you've faced and then shoving them out of your life with a 'the end'. It's too sudden, it's too cold. So yes, movies kind of make me feel despondent.
I think that's enough random facts for now.
I now know why I've never shared much about myself here - it drains you, makes you feel exposed. But oddly, I've never felt this comfortable being vunerable.
I'm your junkie.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The End.
This is The End.
I'm letting go, like how I should have a long time ago.
And I'm only sixteen but I know that it shouldn't have to be this way. It's so difficult and it hurts.
It hurts.
Raise the white flag; blow the final whistle.
I'm done here.
I'm letting go, like how I should have a long time ago.
And I'm only sixteen but I know that it shouldn't have to be this way. It's so difficult and it hurts.
It hurts.
Raise the white flag; blow the final whistle.
I'm done here.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Nothing left to lose
The holidays have been, um, mediocre.
There've been good days; there've been bad days.
And it really irks me that I've been so unproductive.
I hate myself for being lazy.
And I miss you.
What is there to miss actually?
There was nothing there to begin with.
You foolish imbecile.
I hate you.
I like you.
Oh and Federer won the french open.
Whippee.
There've been good days; there've been bad days.
And it really irks me that I've been so unproductive.
I hate myself for being lazy.
And I miss you.
What is there to miss actually?
There was nothing there to begin with.
You foolish imbecile.
I hate you.
I like you.
Oh and Federer won the french open.
Whippee.
Please let something happen.
This anticipation is killing me.
Once again, I'm about to be disappointed.
I just know it.
Forget this,
I'm off to get some work done.
Ciao.
Friday, June 5, 2009
That's me inside your head.
So I recently stumbled upon this fashion blog called gofugyourself.celebuzz.com - yes, please pardon it's slightly crass-sounding url - and it certainly propels the meaning of 'wit' to a whole new dimension. I found myself giggling, rather irrationally, at the witty and clever banter of the blog writers who practically bleed sarcasm.
And despite my love for Lucas Eugene Scott (Okay, I admit my love doesn't extend as far as his middle name. I mean, they were obviously severely inebriated when picking the name. I've heard of DUI, but seriously, WUI (Writing Under Influence), should be punishable by law too; just look what they did to poor Lucas.), I couldn't help but snigger - rather guilty, I must add in my defence - at this following paragraph:
"And my conclusion is, despite whatever dumb salary dispute they're having, I'm pretty sure Chad Michael Murray CAN'T leave One Tree Hill, because where is he going to go? Who is clamoring for his services, exactly? How will that show work if Lucas can't squint with joy, or squint with pain, or squint while deep in thought, or squint in judgment, or squint in confusion, or squint with pride? And what other show, or indeed acting role of any kind, could accommodate that kind of deeply nuanced emotional range? Is he supposed to squint with concentration on CSI? Squint with lecherous evil on Gossip Girl? Squint with a popular kid's disdain at the Buy More nerds on Chuck? I guess he could squint at the Squints on Bones, but then would the universe fold in on itself?"
Oh dear dear Lucas Eugene Scott.
But to give you credit, I must admit you've got some of the best quotes with Peyton Sawyer in TeeVee History. And when I was fourteen, young and still blithely naive, I used to sit in front of my computer and watch you with glazed eyes as you squinted (ooh can you feel the sheer intensity) your way through all sorts of mishaps and accidents.
We'll miss you on OTH.
And despite my love for Lucas Eugene Scott (Okay, I admit my love doesn't extend as far as his middle name. I mean, they were obviously severely inebriated when picking the name. I've heard of DUI, but seriously, WUI (Writing Under Influence), should be punishable by law too; just look what they did to poor Lucas.), I couldn't help but snigger - rather guilty, I must add in my defence - at this following paragraph:
"And my conclusion is, despite whatever dumb salary dispute they're having, I'm pretty sure Chad Michael Murray CAN'T leave One Tree Hill, because where is he going to go? Who is clamoring for his services, exactly? How will that show work if Lucas can't squint with joy, or squint with pain, or squint while deep in thought, or squint in judgment, or squint in confusion, or squint with pride? And what other show, or indeed acting role of any kind, could accommodate that kind of deeply nuanced emotional range? Is he supposed to squint with concentration on CSI? Squint with lecherous evil on Gossip Girl? Squint with a popular kid's disdain at the Buy More nerds on Chuck? I guess he could squint at the Squints on Bones, but then would the universe fold in on itself?"
Oh dear dear Lucas Eugene Scott.
But to give you credit, I must admit you've got some of the best quotes with Peyton Sawyer in TeeVee History. And when I was fourteen, young and still blithely naive, I used to sit in front of my computer and watch you with glazed eyes as you squinted (ooh can you feel the sheer intensity) your way through all sorts of mishaps and accidents.
We'll miss you on OTH.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tracks of my tears.
So very many things have happened in the last two weeks. It's been positively insane. (I always did wonder why 'positively insane' made sense but not 'negatively insane', because technically, doesn't 'negatively insane' make more sense? Insanity is after all the furthest thing from positive.) But I digress yet again. So yes, the past two weeks. The daily rituals, the tears, joy, stress, happiness, let downs, anxiety, apprehension, longing. Wow, doesn't my life just sound like a melodramatic soap drama on daytime TeeVee. Seriously, The Hills doesn't stand a chance.
Okay okay, I take that back just in case I get like 123908295 hate mails from staunch, our-hearts-beat-for-LC fans. And also because, I (note: grudgingly) admit that I happen to be the ultimate Hills fan. Which also happens to be the reason why I am mourning, yes, weeping black eyeliner tears - Hyperbole, I know. But don't all teachers encourage us to use literary devices anyway? - that this Tuesday's episode is LC's last one. Yeah you can stop LMAO-ing or whatchamacallit.
On a completely different note, OhAmGee the holidays are here. It's only been three days since school let out and I'm radiantly euphoric. We had no school on Friday because of the Shangrila Security Conference thing thing - total lifesaver, might I add. So. Bullet points for you because I'm lazy and Chinese tuition homework calls.
Friday
x Met L for lunch
x Secret garden rendezvous
x Starbucks
x Solo MRT ride to Vivocity (Am proud of great self-restraint practised when fighting the urge to flag a cab)
x Met the fam at the Vivo for quality bonding time over Angels and Demons
x Dinner after that resulted in me breaking the Guiness World Record for fastest weight gain ever recorded in a human, I kid you not.
Saturday
x Slept in.
x Watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging for the 4th time (?) = approximately 105 minutes of squealing over Aaron Johnson, a.k.a Sex God beyond the Valley of Gorgeousness, and picking up weird British Slang.
x Went running (Felt full effects of sinful dinner the night before), followed by drinks after at the club
x Showered, met Sexy Kitty at Starbucks (the said individual's identity will not be disclosed lest she/he faces extreme amounts of public humiliation)
x Walked home with Sexy Kitty and LOLed for the next two hours while facebook-ing/blog-hopping
x Attempted to watch HTLAGI10D but fell asleep halfway, so said individual left at 11.30pm
Sunday
x Woke up early because of Tai tai's text
x Trudged down to breakfast disgruntled and groggy
x LOLed throughout breakfast because of an unexpected editorial
x Was dragged down to town by the folks
x Shopped, lunched and got immensely irritated by GSS crowds
x Went home and slept like a sloth
x Sent brother back to NS camp (baldies of the world unite!)
x Dinner
x Typing this now
Okay. Cheena homework calls.
Will post pictures; but don't get your hopes too high.
People always disappoint.
Okay okay, I take that back just in case I get like 123908295 hate mails from staunch, our-hearts-beat-for-LC fans. And also because, I (note: grudgingly) admit that I happen to be the ultimate Hills fan. Which also happens to be the reason why I am mourning, yes, weeping black eyeliner tears - Hyperbole, I know. But don't all teachers encourage us to use literary devices anyway? - that this Tuesday's episode is LC's last one. Yeah you can stop LMAO-ing or whatchamacallit.
On a completely different note, OhAmGee the holidays are here. It's only been three days since school let out and I'm radiantly euphoric. We had no school on Friday because of the Shangrila Security Conference thing thing - total lifesaver, might I add. So. Bullet points for you because I'm lazy and Chinese tuition homework calls.
Friday
x Met L for lunch
x Secret garden rendezvous
x Starbucks
x Solo MRT ride to Vivocity (Am proud of great self-restraint practised when fighting the urge to flag a cab)
x Met the fam at the Vivo for quality bonding time over Angels and Demons
x Dinner after that resulted in me breaking the Guiness World Record for fastest weight gain ever recorded in a human, I kid you not.
Saturday
x Slept in.
x Watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging for the 4th time (?) = approximately 105 minutes of squealing over Aaron Johnson, a.k.a Sex God beyond the Valley of Gorgeousness, and picking up weird British Slang.
x Went running (Felt full effects of sinful dinner the night before), followed by drinks after at the club
x Showered, met Sexy Kitty at Starbucks (the said individual's identity will not be disclosed lest she/he faces extreme amounts of public humiliation)
x Walked home with Sexy Kitty and LOLed for the next two hours while facebook-ing/blog-hopping
x Attempted to watch HTLAGI10D but fell asleep halfway, so said individual left at 11.30pm
Sunday
x Woke up early because of Tai tai's text
x Trudged down to breakfast disgruntled and groggy
x LOLed throughout breakfast because of an unexpected editorial
x Was dragged down to town by the folks
x Shopped, lunched and got immensely irritated by GSS crowds
x Went home and slept like a sloth
x Sent brother back to NS camp (baldies of the world unite!)
x Dinner
x Typing this now
Okay. Cheena homework calls.
Will post pictures; but don't get your hopes too high.
People always disappoint.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday Night Lights(?)
Just came back from din din at Hong's house: She was confirmed today! Quote Rach: "I feel like a proud mama." (:
Good food, good company and good conversation make me a very happy girl. Can't wait for peekchas to be up on facebook, till then this one shall suffice. 
Hong and I from not-so-long ago.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
If you knew.
Okay, I'm done. I don't want to care because caring too much hurts and I'm not ready to give away a part of myself if you don't. I won't look back in anger. You'll always be a pretty memory in my book - the stranger who never did climb the tree but stared at the top giving the rosy apple a flicker of hope.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
D&J.
Dawson:''It's weird how that happens isn't it? You still love the person but you stop needing them like you used to.''
Joey:''Yeah. It's weird isn't it? It's kinda sad. So we're friends then we were a couple then we're friends again then we were a couple so...so what are we now?''
Dawson:''We're Dawson and Joey.''
Joey:'' Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?''
Dawson:''I hope so. For their sake.''
Joey:''Yeah. It's weird isn't it? It's kinda sad. So we're friends then we were a couple then we're friends again then we were a couple so...so what are we now?''
Dawson:''We're Dawson and Joey.''
Joey:'' Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?''
Dawson:''I hope so. For their sake.''
You.
Have I mentioned that I'm a total sucker - because it sounds marginally better than pathetic dweeb - for tv couples? I can't quite place my finger on what it is about tv couples and romances that make them so annoyingly quixotic. It could be the killer lines, the obstacles they (somehow) always manage to overcome, their exceedingly good looks, or just the fairytale way in which everything always seems to play out. Oh, and not forgetting those major cheeseball, yet overwhelmingly saccharine, moments which include:
A) a heated argument followed by passionate kissing in the rain
B) a public proclamation by the male lead on how much he loves the female (think "You complete me"/ "I'm only me when I'm with you"/ "I want to wake up in the morning with you beside me." You get my drift.
C) an airport scene with either female/ male leaving for another country and the other character always sprinting to the departure terminal just in time rather miraculously (Like seriously, ever heard of bad traffic?)
D) Kissing
E) More kissing
So yes, I digress. I talked about Leyton in one of my older posts. And today, I present you with yet another onscreen couple that I adore.
Joey and Dawson from Dawson's Creek. They started out as best friends and then became lovers, and yeah you know the rest of the story. But unlike normal onscreen couples, they do not end up together in the final season, which was heart-renching but made me like the pairing even more, because it actually mirrors reality (yeah, I know GASP) and doesn't present some chimerical fantasy that holds a probability of 0.000000001023293.
That's life.
A) a heated argument followed by passionate kissing in the rain
B) a public proclamation by the male lead on how much he loves the female (think "You complete me"/ "I'm only me when I'm with you"/ "I want to wake up in the morning with you beside me." You get my drift.
C) an airport scene with either female/ male leaving for another country and the other character always sprinting to the departure terminal just in time rather miraculously (Like seriously, ever heard of bad traffic?)
D) Kissing
E) More kissing
So yes, I digress. I talked about Leyton in one of my older posts. And today, I present you with yet another onscreen couple that I adore.
Joey and Dawson from Dawson's Creek. They started out as best friends and then became lovers, and yeah you know the rest of the story. But unlike normal onscreen couples, they do not end up together in the final season, which was heart-renching but made me like the pairing even more, because it actually mirrors reality (yeah, I know GASP) and doesn't present some chimerical fantasy that holds a probability of 0.000000001023293.
That's life.
Friday, May 8, 2009
This bird has flown.
Hurrah for best friends, they make me feel like a ray of sunshine. Yesterday was such a great day, besides the one hour torture session with a certain somebody, but anyway it's all good. And because laziness is an inherent trait that has been woven into the very fabric of my being (I do not exaggerate), I shall use easy, breezy (beautiful?), bullet points instead.
x Lunch with Wombat and Cheekz was fun. Cue: KRISHTINAAA!
x Borders next, where Wombat decided to buy a new box file and I managed to FINALLY get the People 100 Most Beautiful issue. Was delirious with happiness because it was sold out everywhere else. Cheekz had to leave after that.
x Walked over to Taka, rummaged through Artfriend for materials with Wombat. Think feathers and a masquerade mask (:
x Bought a bagful of Popdoh donuts
x Headed home
x Val came over bearing an Ice Vanilla Latte from Starbucks (Ohmygosh, saviour) and homemade cookies which were so good, they're to-die-for.
x We had the best time ever just catching up and laughing at _ _ _ _ _ _ korean guys. Fill in the blanks yourself. I love that girl.
And I talked about you again today.
It gets easier with each time. It used to be really difficult, almost excruciating, to do so, knowing what could have been and how harebrained it was of me not to seize the opportunity when it was practically handed to me on a silver platter. We always think about what "could've been" eh? But the truth is, could've beens equate to nothing, just like how a sine graph hits the x axis at 180 degrees - they're a big fat zero, a gaping blank. They're just moments in life that we could have, should have grabbed by its horns, but never did. And then you spend every day after that wishing you had.
This bird has flown?
I'm not so sure who the bird is anymore.
x Lunch with Wombat and Cheekz was fun. Cue: KRISHTINAAA!
x Borders next, where Wombat decided to buy a new box file and I managed to FINALLY get the People 100 Most Beautiful issue. Was delirious with happiness because it was sold out everywhere else. Cheekz had to leave after that.
x Walked over to Taka, rummaged through Artfriend for materials with Wombat. Think feathers and a masquerade mask (:
x Bought a bagful of Popdoh donuts
x Headed home
x Val came over bearing an Ice Vanilla Latte from Starbucks (Ohmygosh, saviour) and homemade cookies which were so good, they're to-die-for.
x We had the best time ever just catching up and laughing at _ _ _ _ _ _ korean guys. Fill in the blanks yourself. I love that girl.
And I talked about you again today.
It gets easier with each time. It used to be really difficult, almost excruciating, to do so, knowing what could have been and how harebrained it was of me not to seize the opportunity when it was practically handed to me on a silver platter. We always think about what "could've been" eh? But the truth is, could've beens equate to nothing, just like how a sine graph hits the x axis at 180 degrees - they're a big fat zero, a gaping blank. They're just moments in life that we could have, should have grabbed by its horns, but never did. And then you spend every day after that wishing you had.
This bird has flown?
I'm not so sure who the bird is anymore.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach.
As tradition goes, I always blog before a biology test and here I am again. It's become a customary, almost mandatory, routine. I think it's probably the cathartic effect of biology revision that compels me to regurgitate all my woes onto this online portal. So I admit I'm not Little Miss Sunshine today but the past 2 days have been fun-filled, fluffy, sugar, spice and everything nice. But I'm paying the price of being too happy today. Y'know how life has this way of flipping everything upside down just when you felt everything was finally going right? Mhmm, kinda sums up all that I'm feeling into a nutshell.
You're a plunderer, a looter, a criminal, positively a savage beast. It's not fair, it's unjust, it's villianous. There should be riots, protests, public outcries and demonstrations over the absurdity of it all - how someone, seemingly innocuous, inconsequential, vague, can enter your life, staying long enough to catch your eye before leaving abruptly, without a word, without a trace. Leaving the bruised soul longing for more, yearning for just one more moment. Out of sight, out of mind? That couldn't be more untrue.
Okay am most certainly deranged after three hours of studying biology so excuse the incoherentness of it all.
I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I cant reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody
You're a plunderer, a looter, a criminal, positively a savage beast. It's not fair, it's unjust, it's villianous. There should be riots, protests, public outcries and demonstrations over the absurdity of it all - how someone, seemingly innocuous, inconsequential, vague, can enter your life, staying long enough to catch your eye before leaving abruptly, without a word, without a trace. Leaving the bruised soul longing for more, yearning for just one more moment. Out of sight, out of mind? That couldn't be more untrue.
Okay am most certainly deranged after three hours of studying biology so excuse the incoherentness of it all.
I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I cant reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Breakfast @ P.S.?
'Cause this is the first time I've felt so happy in a long time (definition of happy = not feeling like a royal mess. Y'know, just FYI), here're pictures of the fam fam. Don't know what I'd do without them, probably just combust. Anyway, without further ado, I present you Breakfast with The Chans.
PS Cafe @ Dempsey Hill.
I love the veranda, it's so beautiful in the morning.
My brudder the NS baldie (Aha no just kidding)
Grandma Chan and Grand daughter Chan.
Brudder and Sistah Chan
The Parental Unit (Read: Mother and Father Chan)
My beautiful granny and her equally beautiful blueberry pancakes.
I love the weekends, it's the only time which I actually get to spend with the people I love. Going out for lunch with the parental unit soon, it's their 22nd anniversary. Spending 22 years of your life with somebody. Wowza. The thought alone gives me goosebumps.
Okay I hear hollers from downstairs, time for me to bounce.
Peace homies.
PS Cafe @ Dempsey Hill.
I love the veranda, it's so beautiful in the morning.
My brudder the NS baldie (Aha no just kidding)
Grandma Chan and Grand daughter Chan.
Brudder and Sistah Chan
The Parental Unit (Read: Mother and Father Chan)
My beautiful granny and her equally beautiful blueberry pancakes.
I love the weekends, it's the only time which I actually get to spend with the people I love. Going out for lunch with the parental unit soon, it's their 22nd anniversary. Spending 22 years of your life with somebody. Wowza. The thought alone gives me goosebumps.
Okay I hear hollers from downstairs, time for me to bounce.
Peace homies.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Life's tough babe.
Pictures from nong nong ago (primarily from a post-ORA camwhoring session and some snapshots of us being OM fangirlz) AND, I've got beautiful best friends who refuse to believe they're beautiful. 
So. Yeah. Enjoy.
So. Yeah. Enjoy.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I love her.
The title says it all - I love my mummy.
She's always there for me, always. And God knows I need all the help & support I can get right now. So this is for you. Thank you; you are simply extraordinary.
She's always there for me, always. And God knows I need all the help & support I can get right now. So this is for you. Thank you; you are simply extraordinary.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Bittersweet; wrong yet right.
"In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends"
- John Churchton Collins
I'm disappointed.
For a moment there (no more than a flicker, a flash), a sliver of happiness welled up in the pits of my stomach. But no, I'm just another fatuous girl with her hopes too high and her expectations too low. (I swear it's not a contradiction)
I was right.
And boy, does it suck.
- John Churchton Collins
I'm disappointed.
For a moment there (no more than a flicker, a flash), a sliver of happiness welled up in the pits of my stomach. But no, I'm just another fatuous girl with her hopes too high and her expectations too low. (I swear it's not a contradiction)
I was right.
And boy, does it suck.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Falling slowly
Meet the latest, and most probably temporal, object of my affections.
I present you with none other than Kris Allen. Yes, you got that right. Soulful, boy-next-door, American Idol fledgling/hopeful - Kris Allen. And I know I haven't exactly had the best taste in members of the opposite sex; anyone recall my obsession with Tom Felton (I swear it was his sleeked back, pale blond hair that did it.) back in P6? But honestly, if you just shut your eyes and listened to this track quietly, I think you might actually feel a fraction of the emotions that run through me whenever I listen to this song. (Think 'Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along...') And it sure doesn't hurt that Kris is quite easy on the eyes as well (:
Ever wondered why human relationships are so terribly complex and confusing? Yeah, me too. Why can't it be like some retro song? I like you, you like me, boom, everything's all happily-ever-after, fairy tale-sque. The princess mounts the knight-in-shining-armour's white steed and they gallop off into the glorious sunset, resplendent rays of light further accentuating their black (almost, charred) silhouettes against the backdrop of rolling green hills and a gently bubbling brook. Oh, and did I mention an antediluvian castle in the background? Yeah, that too. But, it's never quite like that isn't it? Along the way, even in fairytales, there's always the recurring theme of status inequality (e.g. poor pauper vs. wealthy aristocrat), conniving villains, envious stepmothers/ sisters and of course, the occasional fire-breathing dragon. But at the end of it all, there was always a hero who saved the day. So let's draw a parallel between fairytales and reality, shall we?
1. Status inequality - check.
2. Conniving villains, hmmmm - check.
3. The embodiment of conspiring stepmothers/ sisters in human form - check.
4. Fire breathing dragon? - N.A.
5. Hero who saves the day?- A big fat blank.
Guess we got the tougher draw after all huh.
I present you with none other than Kris Allen. Yes, you got that right. Soulful, boy-next-door, American Idol fledgling/hopeful - Kris Allen. And I know I haven't exactly had the best taste in members of the opposite sex; anyone recall my obsession with Tom Felton (I swear it was his sleeked back, pale blond hair that did it.) back in P6? But honestly, if you just shut your eyes and listened to this track quietly, I think you might actually feel a fraction of the emotions that run through me whenever I listen to this song. (Think 'Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along...') And it sure doesn't hurt that Kris is quite easy on the eyes as well (:
Ever wondered why human relationships are so terribly complex and confusing? Yeah, me too. Why can't it be like some retro song? I like you, you like me, boom, everything's all happily-ever-after, fairy tale-sque. The princess mounts the knight-in-shining-armour's white steed and they gallop off into the glorious sunset, resplendent rays of light further accentuating their black (almost, charred) silhouettes against the backdrop of rolling green hills and a gently bubbling brook. Oh, and did I mention an antediluvian castle in the background? Yeah, that too. But, it's never quite like that isn't it? Along the way, even in fairytales, there's always the recurring theme of status inequality (e.g. poor pauper vs. wealthy aristocrat), conniving villains, envious stepmothers/ sisters and of course, the occasional fire-breathing dragon. But at the end of it all, there was always a hero who saved the day. So let's draw a parallel between fairytales and reality, shall we?
1. Status inequality - check.
2. Conniving villains, hmmmm - check.
3. The embodiment of conspiring stepmothers/ sisters in human form - check.
4. Fire breathing dragon? - N.A.
5. Hero who saves the day?- A big fat blank.
Guess we got the tougher draw after all huh.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
All over again.
When do you want to move out of your parents house?
Not anytime soon. I love my home.
Have you ever blow dried something other then your hair?
Oh gosh yeah. A fifty dollar bill?
Do you get embarrassed when you pay for things in all small change?
I get irritated at people who do that! But yeah, I do when the amount is >$10.
Have you ever stayed friends with someone who stabbed you in the back?
I'd like to think that no one has stabbed me in the back before. (Okay, so I'm blissfully innocent)
When was the last time someone bought you roses?
My birthday
What's the most expensive thing you've ever lost?
A diamond earring. Don't ask. It saddens me just to think about it.
Do you do something new with your hair practically every day?
I have weird impulses to just shave it all off at times. What d'you think?
Do you smile with your teeth?
Uh huh. And hopefully with my eyes too.
Have you ever volunteered to feed the homeless?
No, and now I feel bad.
Do you visit the dentist twice a year like you should?
No, still feeling bad.
What is the longest relationship you've been in?
Never been in one.
Are you comfortable with your body?
Truthfully. No.
Who do you talk to the most in first period?
Hmm. Joy since she's my desk mate?
Do you own anything that has a lot of sentimental value to you?
Yes, hordes of them in fact. You have no idea.
If you told your parents that you're gay, how would they react?
They'd probably laugh and think it's a joke.
What's the last thing you did that made you feel guilty?
Eat that bag of Jelly Babies from Marks & Spencer. I couldn't resist their squishy, little, sugar-coated heads!
Starbucks is bombski, right?
Say whuuuuut. But yeah, Iced Chai Tea Latte all the way.
Do you think you make a good bf/gf?
I hope so (in the future)
If you could go back in time would you?
Maybe. I don't know. Now you've got me into the whole 'Past vs. Present' pensive mood.
Who did you look up to as a kid?
My grandma. She's one of the most amazing people in this world. Oh, and Barbie. And Barney. (Yes you can stop laughing now)
What's your favorite band/singer?
None really.
Is there anyone you want to start over with?
Yeah.
Is there anyone you know that is just flat out mean?
No comment.
Do you have any enemies?
I really don't know. You tell me.
Would you rather be single or in a relationship?
Both have its perks. But for right now, single.
Do you have a bestfriend?
Yes, a few. I'm lucky cause they're awesome.
Would you rather watch the stars or the clouds?
Don't make me chooooseee.
What song best describes your life?
I really can't think of one. But definitely NOT one of those no-one-understands-me-I'm-such-an-angsty-teenager-with-the-whole-world-against-me Simple Plan songs which we rocked out to in P6.
Would you rather feel everything intensified or nothing at all?
Intensified. I'm such an emotional person, so I can't imagine not feeling anything; I'd be scared to death.
Do you get underestimated?
Dun pray pray manzxz.
Do you think you're nice?
Quite.
Do you ever miss your past?
Who doesn't?
Do you like a day of relaxing or a day full of adventure?
Day full of adventure followed by a day of relaxing would be ideal.
What can always make you feel happy?
Friends, family, exercising, ticking something off my ever-growing to do list.
What's your favorite subject in school?
None really.
Listening to music right now?
Yes. Lady Gaga.
What song?
Poker face - Lady Gaga. Woohoo.
Everything happens for a reason, right?
Yeah, that's what I like to think.
When was the last time you had an alcoholic beverage?
Quite a while actually. Um. 3-4 weeks now?
Do you have feelings for anyone right now?
I'll pretend that I didn't see this question.
Do you smoke cigarettes?
No.
Do you mind if people smoke weed?
If they're people I care about, then yes.
Do you take pills?
Only those prescribed by doctors?
Do you like coffee?
Not right now.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Hellooo, have you seen Brad Pitt in his Joe Black days? Tres sexy. So, yes, to that question.
Do you play an insturment?
I take the mandatory piano lessons that seem to plague all Asian kids.
What's your favorite hair color in the opposite sex?
No favourite hair colour.
What color eyes do you have?
Brown.
Has anyone gave you a compliment today?
Yes, made my morning (:
Did you party last weekend?
Does being a fangirlz at OM judging count? If no, then nope.
What do you hate about life?
That it's never easy. But I guess that's what I like about it too, at times.
Do you make wishes?
Y-E-S.
What are you going to do tonight?
Study. Today marks the start of my days as a muggersaurus.
Are you upset at anyone?
No. The lifespan of my 'hatred' is roughly 2 minutes.
Whats special about this week?
ORA Family Fest, will be interesting.
Do you want something really bad?
Duh yeah.
When was the last time you were disappointed?
Not too long ago. Vague, I know.
Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
Don't think so. Not to my face anyway.
Do you care what people think about you?
I'm not going to lie, I actually do, but it really depends on who.
Would you live by yourself, if you could?
Gosh no. Can't imagine returning home to an empty house, it must be lonely.
Do boys understand girls?
It'll be freaky if they did, so it's kinda good that they don't understand us entirely.
What is a bad habit you have?
I drink too much Red Bull.
Who owes you money?
I never really was good at remembering.
What time did you sleep last night?
12.30am.
Are you emotional?
Embarrassingly so, most of the time.
Who makes you laugh?
A lot of people.
Are you falling for someone?
Haha, wouldn't you like to know.
Do you have doubts about anything?
Yes too many to list.
Do you text or instant message more?
Text.
What is bothering you right now?
Hmm.
Where’s the person that you fell the hardest for?
I don't know, could be in Siberia for all I know.
Any plans for the weekend?
Yes. ORA and exciting meetings galore.
Is there a girl you can tell everything to?
Yeeaaahhh.
Kissed anyone today?
No.
Could you last in a relationship for over a year?
Maybe.
Who texted you last?
Too lazy to check. Heh.
Would you ever kiss someone who smokes?
It's hard to say, isn't it?
Is there anyone that always makes you smile when you talk to them?
Uh huh. Quite a few in fact.
Who can you blame for your mood today?
Blame isn't the right word.
Are you afraid to grow up?
Yes and no.
Do you have a secret that you've never told anyone?
Hmmm.
Something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
Not really
Is there something that you haven't told anyone that you actually would like to?
Yeah.
Do you like your life as it is now?
On a scale of 1-10, I'd rank it about 7.5?
Are you a forgiving person?
Yes and no.
What are you scared of?
Not living life to its fullest. Oh, and the passing of time.
Are you a fast typer?
I think so.
Are you currently wanting any piercings?
I'm fine with my current ear holes (:
When was the last time someone touched your ass?
Hahaha. Accidentally? A week back, I think. I blame my sexy J Lo butt (:
Not anytime soon. I love my home.
Have you ever blow dried something other then your hair?
Oh gosh yeah. A fifty dollar bill?
Do you get embarrassed when you pay for things in all small change?
I get irritated at people who do that! But yeah, I do when the amount is >$10.
Have you ever stayed friends with someone who stabbed you in the back?
I'd like to think that no one has stabbed me in the back before. (Okay, so I'm blissfully innocent)
When was the last time someone bought you roses?
My birthday
What's the most expensive thing you've ever lost?
A diamond earring. Don't ask. It saddens me just to think about it.
Do you do something new with your hair practically every day?
I have weird impulses to just shave it all off at times. What d'you think?
Do you smile with your teeth?
Uh huh. And hopefully with my eyes too.
Have you ever volunteered to feed the homeless?
No, and now I feel bad.
Do you visit the dentist twice a year like you should?
No, still feeling bad.
What is the longest relationship you've been in?
Never been in one.
Are you comfortable with your body?
Truthfully. No.
Who do you talk to the most in first period?
Hmm. Joy since she's my desk mate?
Do you own anything that has a lot of sentimental value to you?
Yes, hordes of them in fact. You have no idea.
If you told your parents that you're gay, how would they react?
They'd probably laugh and think it's a joke.
What's the last thing you did that made you feel guilty?
Eat that bag of Jelly Babies from Marks & Spencer. I couldn't resist their squishy, little, sugar-coated heads!
Starbucks is bombski, right?
Say whuuuuut. But yeah, Iced Chai Tea Latte all the way.
Do you think you make a good bf/gf?
I hope so (in the future)
If you could go back in time would you?
Maybe. I don't know. Now you've got me into the whole 'Past vs. Present' pensive mood.
Who did you look up to as a kid?
My grandma. She's one of the most amazing people in this world. Oh, and Barbie. And Barney. (Yes you can stop laughing now)
What's your favorite band/singer?
None really.
Is there anyone you want to start over with?
Yeah.
Is there anyone you know that is just flat out mean?
No comment.
Do you have any enemies?
I really don't know. You tell me.
Would you rather be single or in a relationship?
Both have its perks. But for right now, single.
Do you have a bestfriend?
Yes, a few. I'm lucky cause they're awesome.
Would you rather watch the stars or the clouds?
Don't make me chooooseee.
What song best describes your life?
I really can't think of one. But definitely NOT one of those no-one-understands-me-I'm-such-an-angsty-teenager-with-the-whole-world-against-me Simple Plan songs which we rocked out to in P6.
Would you rather feel everything intensified or nothing at all?
Intensified. I'm such an emotional person, so I can't imagine not feeling anything; I'd be scared to death.
Do you get underestimated?
Dun pray pray manzxz.
Do you think you're nice?
Quite.
Do you ever miss your past?
Who doesn't?
Do you like a day of relaxing or a day full of adventure?
Day full of adventure followed by a day of relaxing would be ideal.
What can always make you feel happy?
Friends, family, exercising, ticking something off my ever-growing to do list.
What's your favorite subject in school?
None really.
Listening to music right now?
Yes. Lady Gaga.
What song?
Poker face - Lady Gaga. Woohoo.
Everything happens for a reason, right?
Yeah, that's what I like to think.
When was the last time you had an alcoholic beverage?
Quite a while actually. Um. 3-4 weeks now?
Do you have feelings for anyone right now?
I'll pretend that I didn't see this question.
Do you smoke cigarettes?
No.
Do you mind if people smoke weed?
If they're people I care about, then yes.
Do you take pills?
Only those prescribed by doctors?
Do you like coffee?
Not right now.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Hellooo, have you seen Brad Pitt in his Joe Black days? Tres sexy. So, yes, to that question.
Do you play an insturment?
I take the mandatory piano lessons that seem to plague all Asian kids.
What's your favorite hair color in the opposite sex?
No favourite hair colour.
What color eyes do you have?
Brown.
Has anyone gave you a compliment today?
Yes, made my morning (:
Did you party last weekend?
Does being a fangirlz at OM judging count? If no, then nope.
What do you hate about life?
That it's never easy. But I guess that's what I like about it too, at times.
Do you make wishes?
Y-E-S.
What are you going to do tonight?
Study. Today marks the start of my days as a muggersaurus.
Are you upset at anyone?
No. The lifespan of my 'hatred' is roughly 2 minutes.
Whats special about this week?
ORA Family Fest, will be interesting.
Do you want something really bad?
Duh yeah.
When was the last time you were disappointed?
Not too long ago. Vague, I know.
Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
Don't think so. Not to my face anyway.
Do you care what people think about you?
I'm not going to lie, I actually do, but it really depends on who.
Would you live by yourself, if you could?
Gosh no. Can't imagine returning home to an empty house, it must be lonely.
Do boys understand girls?
It'll be freaky if they did, so it's kinda good that they don't understand us entirely.
What is a bad habit you have?
I drink too much Red Bull.
Who owes you money?
I never really was good at remembering.
What time did you sleep last night?
12.30am.
Are you emotional?
Embarrassingly so, most of the time.
Who makes you laugh?
A lot of people.
Are you falling for someone?
Haha, wouldn't you like to know.
Do you have doubts about anything?
Yes too many to list.
Do you text or instant message more?
Text.
What is bothering you right now?
Hmm.
Where’s the person that you fell the hardest for?
I don't know, could be in Siberia for all I know.
Any plans for the weekend?
Yes. ORA and exciting meetings galore.
Is there a girl you can tell everything to?
Yeeaaahhh.
Kissed anyone today?
No.
Could you last in a relationship for over a year?
Maybe.
Who texted you last?
Too lazy to check. Heh.
Would you ever kiss someone who smokes?
It's hard to say, isn't it?
Is there anyone that always makes you smile when you talk to them?
Uh huh. Quite a few in fact.
Who can you blame for your mood today?
Blame isn't the right word.
Are you afraid to grow up?
Yes and no.
Do you have a secret that you've never told anyone?
Hmmm.
Something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
Not really
Is there something that you haven't told anyone that you actually would like to?
Yeah.
Do you like your life as it is now?
On a scale of 1-10, I'd rank it about 7.5?
Are you a forgiving person?
Yes and no.
What are you scared of?
Not living life to its fullest. Oh, and the passing of time.
Are you a fast typer?
I think so.
Are you currently wanting any piercings?
I'm fine with my current ear holes (:
When was the last time someone touched your ass?
Hahaha. Accidentally? A week back, I think. I blame my sexy J Lo butt (:
Monday, April 13, 2009
Build me up buttercup.
I love this silly goose so much.
Just when I thought my day was going to get a whole lot worse, she burst into the PB room and brought me some much needed laughter. No really, I spent the next 10 minutes guffawing (rather guiltily, I must add in self-defence). I swear, dainty laugh-ers are a species fast approaching extinction.
Anyhoo. We've known each other since secondary one and since then we've been through ups-and-downs and all sorts of mishaps together. I really don't know what I'd do without her. She's the Adriana to my Naomi, sans the junkie habits, and I know she'll always be there when I need her most. So thank you for everything m'dear.
Just when I thought my day was going to get a whole lot worse, she burst into the PB room and brought me some much needed laughter. No really, I spent the next 10 minutes guffawing (rather guiltily, I must add in self-defence). I swear, dainty laugh-ers are a species fast approaching extinction.
Anyhoo. We've known each other since secondary one and since then we've been through ups-and-downs and all sorts of mishaps together. I really don't know what I'd do without her. She's the Adriana to my Naomi, sans the junkie habits, and I know she'll always be there when I need her most. So thank you for everything m'dear.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
GEEK LOVE.
Excerpts from an article writen by Peaches Geldof on the appeal of the underdog.
"I have a confession: I love dorks. And weirdos. and Misfits. Show me a muscle-bound male model, and I will turn my head towards a bespectacled, skinny, and socially awkward boy instead. I'd take Clark Kent over Superman any day."
"I tend to pine for boys who have the shy charm of Weezer's Rivers Cuomo, the wit of Woody Allen, and the looks of Seth from The O.C. (who, with his love for comic books, won me over far more than bad boy Ryan). I prefer interesting conversation over toned biceps-there's something very appealing about a man who can overcompensate in the brain department. And wimpy and dressed in a Microsoft T-shirt, you have to work harder at getting female attention. Looks alone won't cut it, so perhaps their sweetness and computer literacy will."
"In the end, most of us just seem to want someone who can be self-deprecating - someone who knows his shit and isn't hiding behind a cliched macho front. Nerds are the loveable mavericks of an overbearingly masculine society that is driven by old-fashioned ideals. These Dungeons & Dragons-loving, Einstein-quoting, chunky spectacles-wearing guys are the true catches."
Excerpts from an interesting article I found in Nylon - highlights one of the most pertinent questions known to mankind; a portentous issue of downright solemnity. Wait for it...
"I have a confession: I love dorks. And weirdos. and Misfits. Show me a muscle-bound male model, and I will turn my head towards a bespectacled, skinny, and socially awkward boy instead. I'd take Clark Kent over Superman any day."
"I tend to pine for boys who have the shy charm of Weezer's Rivers Cuomo, the wit of Woody Allen, and the looks of Seth from The O.C. (who, with his love for comic books, won me over far more than bad boy Ryan). I prefer interesting conversation over toned biceps-there's something very appealing about a man who can overcompensate in the brain department. And wimpy and dressed in a Microsoft T-shirt, you have to work harder at getting female attention. Looks alone won't cut it, so perhaps their sweetness and computer literacy will."
"In the end, most of us just seem to want someone who can be self-deprecating - someone who knows his shit and isn't hiding behind a cliched macho front. Nerds are the loveable mavericks of an overbearingly masculine society that is driven by old-fashioned ideals. These Dungeons & Dragons-loving, Einstein-quoting, chunky spectacles-wearing guys are the true catches."
Excerpts from an interesting article I found in Nylon - highlights one of the most pertinent questions known to mankind; a portentous issue of downright solemnity. Wait for it...
(Allow time for anticipation to build up)
Geeks, hot or not?
We'll write a song, that turns out the lights.
First off, I want to say how incredibly proud I am of our school's OM teams. They performed spectacularly during today's OM judging and from what I've heard, two have moved on to the world finals already? So really, awesome job guys.
Hmmm. I'm too lazy to articulate today's events in proper sentences - so here they are in bullet points - and I fear that any attempt to do so might result in an utterly feeble and lacklustre recount of what was actually a pretty exciting day, so let's not ruin it shall we.
x Woke up and attempted to go running = fail. Headed home after a mere 15 mins because it was sweltering.
x Watched Breakfast At Tiffany's while doing weight exercises
x Smelling fresh like a daisy after a shower, headed down to Holland V to meet the best friend.
x Jap food for lunch and Frolick afterwards. Me = happy bloated girl.
x Eventful cab ride to ACSI thanks to an Oreo mishap (;
x Rushed there in time to catch Flo's and Jap's performance.
x Spent the rest of my time there rushing around/ watching the rest of the OM performances/ getting lost/ sweating like a pig/ acting like a crazy Rg fangirlz (Cue: "GO JOHNNNN")
x Anthea gave me a lift home after that
x Did homework (beams with pride)
x Went out for din din with the fam fam. Good food = instantaneous weight gain of approximately 1239824082 kg.
So yes. Good day.
Night ya'll.
Hmmm. I'm too lazy to articulate today's events in proper sentences - so here they are in bullet points - and I fear that any attempt to do so might result in an utterly feeble and lacklustre recount of what was actually a pretty exciting day, so let's not ruin it shall we.
x Woke up and attempted to go running = fail. Headed home after a mere 15 mins because it was sweltering.
x Watched Breakfast At Tiffany's while doing weight exercises
x Smelling fresh like a daisy after a shower, headed down to Holland V to meet the best friend.
x Jap food for lunch and Frolick afterwards. Me = happy bloated girl.
x Eventful cab ride to ACSI thanks to an Oreo mishap (;
x Rushed there in time to catch Flo's and Jap's performance.
x Spent the rest of my time there rushing around/ watching the rest of the OM performances/ getting lost/ sweating like a pig/ acting like a crazy Rg fangirlz (Cue: "GO JOHNNNN")
x Anthea gave me a lift home after that
x Did homework (beams with pride)
x Went out for din din with the fam fam. Good food = instantaneous weight gain of approximately 1239824082 kg.
So yes. Good day.
Night ya'll.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed.
Today's the start of a three day weekend. I'm supposed to be - 1)tingling in sheer anticipation 2) bursting into song and dance 3) marvelling - at the sheer prospect of three entire days of freedom. But yet I'm not. And it's no wonder why.
Something inside me isn't right. As cheesy as this sounds, I just don't feel whole. And before you go blaming it on my teenage angst, I have to rather impetulantly declare that I don't think my fluctuating hormones are the cause of the problem. I shan't hastily dispel these thoughts with a nonchalant 'whatever' and a careless shrug. What I shall do is call somebody. Now.
Make me feel this way again.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Follow me, everything is alright.
What Witty Wombats (ooh alliteration) do at 12.04am.
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea ❤
No, you can't take away my spirit.
If there's just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this... When there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. Because the best things in life, they don't come free.
- Grey's Anatomy.
Today was another completely exasperating and somewhat depressing day. But as the title of this blogpost reads, 'you can't take away my spirit'. And though it's wearisome and utterly exhausting; everytime you knock me down, I'm going to stand right back up.
- Grey's Anatomy.
Today was another completely exasperating and somewhat depressing day. But as the title of this blogpost reads, 'you can't take away my spirit'. And though it's wearisome and utterly exhausting; everytime you knock me down, I'm going to stand right back up.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
OCD.
I officially declare that I have an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at reducing anxiety by preventing some imagined dreaded event.
In blogging, no less. Most people can barely summon any energy or inspiration to blog, yet here I am, a warped deviation from the average teenager, with too many things to say and too little space to express it.
But, I digress. Before I characteristically veered off-course, my main intention was to talk about my brother's commencement of baldie life in NS. (Though I have to congratulate him on striking the genetic lottery and hence having a round, undented head, therefore leading to the conclusion that a really cropped crew cut hairdo isn't entirely a lost cause on him.)
So, he's going to be gone for the next two years, only returning on weekends for two days before heading back to some godforsaken camp on Pulau Tekong. I'm going to miss him especially since he's been bumming around the house since his A's ended four months ago. It feels strange to burst into his room with the intention of spilling some exciting gossip or to borrow his inordinate amount of stationery before realising that he's no longer there. It's been cleared too, the room I mean. All his stuff has been neatly packed and put away, long gone are the scattered notes on the floor and the multi-coloured post-its on his cupboard door. The ever-increasing pile of magazines has stagnated in numbers too. And as much as I hate to admit this, this house feels empty without him at times.
Most of the time, my self absorption leads to the fabrication of quite a believable illusion that nothing has changed. But it's when the house is still and both my parents are out and I walk about aimlessly, that my feet unknowingly carry me to his room. And as I stand in the darkened room, I can't help but think about how quickly time has passed. It seems like just a few years ago when I used to run over to his room and leap on his bed, bouncing up and down while we played with soft toys that our youthful imagination brought to life; how we used to hide beneath the covers quaking in fear at the phantasmal monsters that lurked underneath the bed. And I know that it'll happen again - time will pull yet another disappearing act on me and soon, I'll be waving goodbye as both of us venture into the realm of adulthood, where whimsicality is extinct and self-expression has long died.
But, I'm not going to go that far. My sixteen year old mind isn't supposed to be able to see beyond American Idol on Friday night. Instead, for now, all I want to do is wish my brother a good two years in NS; have fun and most importantly, take care.
One of those rare occasions that we bother taking a picture together (:
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at reducing anxiety by preventing some imagined dreaded event.
In blogging, no less. Most people can barely summon any energy or inspiration to blog, yet here I am, a warped deviation from the average teenager, with too many things to say and too little space to express it.
But, I digress. Before I characteristically veered off-course, my main intention was to talk about my brother's commencement of baldie life in NS. (Though I have to congratulate him on striking the genetic lottery and hence having a round, undented head, therefore leading to the conclusion that a really cropped crew cut hairdo isn't entirely a lost cause on him.)
So, he's going to be gone for the next two years, only returning on weekends for two days before heading back to some godforsaken camp on Pulau Tekong. I'm going to miss him especially since he's been bumming around the house since his A's ended four months ago. It feels strange to burst into his room with the intention of spilling some exciting gossip or to borrow his inordinate amount of stationery before realising that he's no longer there. It's been cleared too, the room I mean. All his stuff has been neatly packed and put away, long gone are the scattered notes on the floor and the multi-coloured post-its on his cupboard door. The ever-increasing pile of magazines has stagnated in numbers too. And as much as I hate to admit this, this house feels empty without him at times.
Most of the time, my self absorption leads to the fabrication of quite a believable illusion that nothing has changed. But it's when the house is still and both my parents are out and I walk about aimlessly, that my feet unknowingly carry me to his room. And as I stand in the darkened room, I can't help but think about how quickly time has passed. It seems like just a few years ago when I used to run over to his room and leap on his bed, bouncing up and down while we played with soft toys that our youthful imagination brought to life; how we used to hide beneath the covers quaking in fear at the phantasmal monsters that lurked underneath the bed. And I know that it'll happen again - time will pull yet another disappearing act on me and soon, I'll be waving goodbye as both of us venture into the realm of adulthood, where whimsicality is extinct and self-expression has long died.
But, I'm not going to go that far. My sixteen year old mind isn't supposed to be able to see beyond American Idol on Friday night. Instead, for now, all I want to do is wish my brother a good two years in NS; have fun and most importantly, take care.
One of those rare occasions that we bother taking a picture together (:
Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.
Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours
- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)
Who even writes like this anymore? I don't know whether to feel relieved that we've been spared the intrinsity of olden English or feel dismayed at the fact that such beautiful letters are most definitely a thing of the past. Then again, hearing a male specimen of the 21st century recite something like this in a less than ardent fashion would indeed be utterly cringe-worthy.
One thing's for sure though, Antonie Brentano must be the envy of Beethoven's voluminous female fan base. And yes, I tempestuously agree that this letter does not deserve to be labelled as the-letter-that-big-read-to-carrie-in-SATC-movie for all of time.
School starts tomorrow.
The weekend passes too quickly.
As usual, it just took me too long to realise.
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours
- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)
Who even writes like this anymore? I don't know whether to feel relieved that we've been spared the intrinsity of olden English or feel dismayed at the fact that such beautiful letters are most definitely a thing of the past. Then again, hearing a male specimen of the 21st century recite something like this in a less than ardent fashion would indeed be utterly cringe-worthy.
One thing's for sure though, Antonie Brentano must be the envy of Beethoven's voluminous female fan base. And yes, I tempestuously agree that this letter does not deserve to be labelled as the-letter-that-big-read-to-carrie-in-SATC-movie for all of time.
School starts tomorrow.
The weekend passes too quickly.
As usual, it just took me too long to realise.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Maybe, definitely.
I've been drained of all my creative inspiration of late and don't seem capable of crafting even little snippets of literary work, not that they were stupendous to begin with. But though they weren't the most elegantly-written, eloquently-conveyed writings, they were far more special than merely being "beautifully written", they were true. They were true to my thoughts, they were true to my feelings and most importantly, they were true to me. And really, that's all that matters.
People always leave. And I don't just mean physically. People change on a constant basis; evolve based on the ever-changing conditions of their environment. Sounds a lot like Charles Darwin's theory of evolution from the Origin of Species eh? But, honestly, just the thought of facing something I've known all my life in one instance, and then facing something wholly unfamiliar in the next, makes me feel solicitous. I guess that's why evolution is a long and drawn-out process isn't it? It allows us time to adjust, to familiarise, to get used to the new. But it doesn't for one moment, eliminate the dull, throbbing pain that comes with the loss of something that you valued all too much.
People always leave. And I don't just mean physically. People change on a constant basis; evolve based on the ever-changing conditions of their environment. Sounds a lot like Charles Darwin's theory of evolution from the Origin of Species eh? But, honestly, just the thought of facing something I've known all my life in one instance, and then facing something wholly unfamiliar in the next, makes me feel solicitous. I guess that's why evolution is a long and drawn-out process isn't it? It allows us time to adjust, to familiarise, to get used to the new. But it doesn't for one moment, eliminate the dull, throbbing pain that comes with the loss of something that you valued all too much.
Friday, March 27, 2009
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
Our Greatest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Henley
Today was tough. Really tough.
There were easily a million moments when I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust, obliterate without leaving a trace; but guess what, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Henley
Today was tough. Really tough.
There were easily a million moments when I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust, obliterate without leaving a trace; but guess what, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A-n-g-e-r.
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always."
- Mahatma Ghandi (1869 -1948)
Wake up before it's too late.
- Mahatma Ghandi (1869 -1948)
Wake up before it's too late.
Busy like a bumble bee.
The lessons in school today were quite light, thank goodness. I don't think my addled brain could have handled anything more intellectually-demanding. And definitely one of the highlights of my day was receiving my chinese composition paper and discovering (much to my surprise) that my chinese isn't quite so phailz after all; it's not too bad actually. It was a much needed ego-booster indeed.
Meeting today with Cheekz, Hong and Joy @ Lido was really enjoyable. We were productive (I swear, that place emits awesome efficiency vibes) and we had lots of fun while we were at it. Though I had a slightly traumatic encounter with a cup of seemingly innocuous bubble tea, I faced it tenaciously and emerged unscathed. So this is a warning to all those unsuspecting bubble-tea-drinkers out there: Expect the unexpected while drinking bubble tea, because you see those little black starch balls bobbing around? Well, yeah, believe it or not, they're lethal.
:D
Meeting today with Cheekz, Hong and Joy @ Lido was really enjoyable. We were productive (I swear, that place emits awesome efficiency vibes) and we had lots of fun while we were at it. Though I had a slightly traumatic encounter with a cup of seemingly innocuous bubble tea, I faced it tenaciously and emerged unscathed. So this is a warning to all those unsuspecting bubble-tea-drinkers out there: Expect the unexpected while drinking bubble tea, because you see those little black starch balls bobbing around? Well, yeah, believe it or not, they're lethal.
:D
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
It's always gonna be there, isn't it?
Today was cool.
School was fine, though I had a bit (Heh, understatement?) of trouble keeping awake during Biology. Anddd training after that was nothing noteworthy. But nevertheless, I'm in my own 'lil happy bubble right now, because tomorrow is brimming with potential and the optimist in me can't help but feel like bursting into song and dance.
And because I'm feeling all fuzzy on the inside, I'll share with you a pick-up line that I laughed quite hard at. Kudos to my dear junior Alethea.
Boy whispers to beautiful girl hesitantly: "Look, I'm not trying to impress you here... But the truth is, I am bat man."
Heee-lary-ous to the max. Yeah yeah, I've got an odd sense of humour. And I shall end off with one of my all time favourite Leyton quotes.
Lucas: "It's always gonna be there, isn't it? Me and you?"
For the many lovestruck teenage girls all over the world, I certainly hope so, Scott.
School was fine, though I had a bit (Heh, understatement?) of trouble keeping awake during Biology. Anddd training after that was nothing noteworthy. But nevertheless, I'm in my own 'lil happy bubble right now, because tomorrow is brimming with potential and the optimist in me can't help but feel like bursting into song and dance.
And because I'm feeling all fuzzy on the inside, I'll share with you a pick-up line that I laughed quite hard at. Kudos to my dear junior Alethea.
Boy whispers to beautiful girl hesitantly: "Look, I'm not trying to impress you here... But the truth is, I am bat man."
Heee-lary-ous to the max. Yeah yeah, I've got an odd sense of humour. And I shall end off with one of my all time favourite Leyton quotes.
Lucas: "It's always gonna be there, isn't it? Me and you?"
For the many lovestruck teenage girls all over the world, I certainly hope so, Scott.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The mandatory update.
Second post of the night.
First one was dedicated to "emo writing"; well, only in the eyes of some actually.
This one will be the mandatory update that I feel compelled to deliver to my legions of avid readers. (Note: Dripping heavily with sarcasm.)
Where do I begin? Hmm, all's fine and well. On a much happier note, one of the considerably few things I can be proud of these days is that I've started exercising more regularly! I've started running again and exercise always makes me a very happy girl (:
Because, I quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy!"
And that's my cue to continue doing my math assignment.
Hello trigonometry.
First one was dedicated to "emo writing"; well, only in the eyes of some actually.
This one will be the mandatory update that I feel compelled to deliver to my legions of avid readers. (Note: Dripping heavily with sarcasm.)
Where do I begin? Hmm, all's fine and well. On a much happier note, one of the considerably few things I can be proud of these days is that I've started exercising more regularly! I've started running again and exercise always makes me a very happy girl (:
Because, I quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy!"
And that's my cue to continue doing my math assignment.
Hello trigonometry.
She can no longer fly.
I wish you would just give me a sign.
I don't know-
At least a smile?
A careless shrug?
A brief glance over your shoulder as your silhouette fades into the distance? (Eaten up by rough red tiles that burn in the mid-morning sun)
Before, I know it, you're gone (without a trace).
Yet again.
And all that's left of this trivial rendezvous is nothing more than an asinine girl standing in the glorious sunshine-
the resplendent rays of light illuminating her chest, baring the crushed organ within.
Valiantly, yes, every-so-valiantly,
she turns and tries (keyword being 'tries') to plunge into the depths of that all-too-familiar baby blue dotted with magnolia clouds-
But wait,
See those crippled, incapacitated things fluttering behind her?
You've maimed them beyond repair, and she,
She can no longer fly.
I don't know-
At least a smile?
A careless shrug?
A brief glance over your shoulder as your silhouette fades into the distance? (Eaten up by rough red tiles that burn in the mid-morning sun)
Before, I know it, you're gone (without a trace).
Yet again.
And all that's left of this trivial rendezvous is nothing more than an asinine girl standing in the glorious sunshine-
the resplendent rays of light illuminating her chest, baring the crushed organ within.
Valiantly, yes, every-so-valiantly,
she turns and tries (keyword being 'tries') to plunge into the depths of that all-too-familiar baby blue dotted with magnolia clouds-
But wait,
See those crippled, incapacitated things fluttering behind her?
You've maimed them beyond repair, and she,
She can no longer fly.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Waiting on my comet.
Hmm, my day was okay. School was school. And because I feel like it, peekchas coming your way, baby.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Indescribable.
Lucas: I don't hate you. I remember the first time I ever saw you; all skinny arms and tangled mess of hair. It was hard letting you go Peyton. It was hard losing you and it was hard seeing you again. It's still really hard.
Peyton: I know. While I'm asleep I have this dream where we're back in that hotel room in LA and you propose to me; and every single time I say yes.
Lucas: It's just a dream right?
Peyton: It's my dream.
No words could ever describe.
"Your art matters, it's what got me here."
- Lucas Scott.
Everyone needs somebody to touch their soul, just that once.
Yes, I choose blogger.
So it's a new blog.
And as the title of this post aptly states - Yes, I choose blogger. I know this is the age of xanga, wordpress, livejournal, tumblr et cetera, but somehow, blogger just holds this place in my (subconscious) heart even though it's way past it's heyday. I can't imagine typing my thoughts and feelings into any other online medium; it'll just be weird.
I've been watching Leyton (For those who are unacquainted with this magnificient pairing of human beings, Leyton = Lucas Scott + Peyton Sawyer, from One Tree Hill. Shame on you.) scenes on Youtube recently, especially those from Season 5 of OTH. And I have come to the conclusion that they are one of the best onscreen couples of all time. They've survived a love triangle (think Brucas vs. Leyton), a gun shooting incident, an obsessive stalker (Psycho Derek!), an almost-marriage (Poor Lindsay was the unfortunate victim) and each other. What's more, being the hormonally-imbalanced teenager that I am, they have some of the best quotes and linkages across all six seasons of OTH, and possibly of the entire TV drama circuit - definitely a worthy opponent of MerDer from Grey's.
When I'm older, wrinkled and hardened to the wonders, mysteries and miracles of this world, I think I might scoff at my poignant attempts at expressing the kind of love I witnessed in movies, shows, books. Perhaps I might end up a Love Scrooge, but instead of a growly "Bah, Humbug!", it'd probably be a "Bah, Love!" In the event that I do become a Love Scrooge (Hopefully sans the bristly eyebrows, oh the horror), I think just looking back at Leyton quotes, moments, scenes will possibly awaken that child-like spirit and zest in the methodically pumping chambers of my heart.
And as the title of this post aptly states - Yes, I choose blogger. I know this is the age of xanga, wordpress, livejournal, tumblr et cetera, but somehow, blogger just holds this place in my (subconscious) heart even though it's way past it's heyday. I can't imagine typing my thoughts and feelings into any other online medium; it'll just be weird.
I've been watching Leyton (For those who are unacquainted with this magnificient pairing of human beings, Leyton = Lucas Scott + Peyton Sawyer, from One Tree Hill. Shame on you.) scenes on Youtube recently, especially those from Season 5 of OTH. And I have come to the conclusion that they are one of the best onscreen couples of all time. They've survived a love triangle (think Brucas vs. Leyton), a gun shooting incident, an obsessive stalker (Psycho Derek!), an almost-marriage (Poor Lindsay was the unfortunate victim) and each other. What's more, being the hormonally-imbalanced teenager that I am, they have some of the best quotes and linkages across all six seasons of OTH, and possibly of the entire TV drama circuit - definitely a worthy opponent of MerDer from Grey's.
When I'm older, wrinkled and hardened to the wonders, mysteries and miracles of this world, I think I might scoff at my poignant attempts at expressing the kind of love I witnessed in movies, shows, books. Perhaps I might end up a Love Scrooge, but instead of a growly "Bah, Humbug!", it'd probably be a "Bah, Love!" In the event that I do become a Love Scrooge (Hopefully sans the bristly eyebrows, oh the horror), I think just looking back at Leyton quotes, moments, scenes will possibly awaken that child-like spirit and zest in the methodically pumping chambers of my heart.
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